Her name is Hannah!

We met on a retreat in a remote area of Mexico. I knew she was special right away. She is beautiful and graceful, (I teased her and told her she looked like a model for Eileen Fisher!), as well as smart, and has spent her life dedicated to helping others as a Chiropractor, body worker and nutritionist. She is an athlete and a Yogini and meditates daily. She is committed to health and well being both personally and professionally, but in a quiet, unobtrusive manner. I’ve been in the business of natural wellness for many years myself, and I can say that Hannah is, bar none, one of the most knowledgeable practitioners I’ve met in many years. She was an inspiration to me, and very generous with her hands, her heart and her knowledge.

Two days in to the retreat, I sat next to Hannah and we began to share our stories. Hannah’s story, a long journey of 3 years that began when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, humbled me. She was at peak fitness, loving life and felt terrific when she got the sad news that she would need a mastectomy, chemo and radiation to battle her cancer. I listened to her detail the experience of surgery, harsh chemotherapy that wiped her out, then radiation that sapped her energy, of how the entire experience brought her to her mental, emotional, spiritual and physical edges. She shared her journey towards recovery, and of how her life and her body have forever changed. I was very moved by her courage and grace, of how she seemed able to communicate this difficult journey with a sense of levity.

The retreat continued to unfold, and as it did the women began to open their hearts and, as often is the case, the pain of recent losses and disappointments surfaced amongst us. Yoga has a way of softening the heart, especially when you have the time to really dive in. Other stories of cancer and loss surfaced. One of the women broke down and shared that she had recently lost a best friend to a short and intense battle with colon cancer. When she cried, it was Hannah who came over to hold her. Grace in action.

At the end of the retreat, we all traveled the 5 hour journey from the remote location of the retreat to the airport together. As it turned out, Hannah and I had later flights in the same terminal, so we hung out for 5 hours together and had a nice long lunch. I commented on how much she had inspired me with her vigor and grace. After sharing her story so intimately at the retreat, and holding such a comforting space for others, Hannah decided to share yet another aspect of her experience that really moved me. She talked about feeling like she had to hold back expressing her own fears of death and dying from her loved ones so as to ameliorate theirs, of having to be strong even when she felt defeated and exhausted, of never being able to speak of death or failed treatments or an uncertain future, of feeling daunted in a confusing medical arena, of having to weigh tons of complex information and make life altering decisions, of dealing with disfigurement, of changed relationships. The tears came. Hers and mine.

I have a bit of a different perspective than the other stories shared in this forum. I’ve been lucky. The only cancer in my family has been in very elderly distant relatives, and their treatments were not aggressive nor were their cancers, although I am not arrogant in thinking that cancer can’t happen to me...too many really vibrant, healthy people are surprisingly stricken in the circles I frequent, and I suspect in general. As a Yoga teacher and sitting at the helm of a Yoga community rooted in a studio I’ve run for 9 years, I have had the ‘difficult privilege’ of bearing witness to the ravages of cancer in many students’ lives. It is not uncommon for folks dealing with cancer to turn to Yoga for stress relief or as a way of regaining a sense of peace or physical strength. I say it is a difficult privilege because I am always humbled and impressed by the dignity with which people meet such daunting challenges. Because of these experiences over the years, I have been motivated to seek out supporting organizations and resources that I can pass on. I’ve volunteered as a support person myself in a hospice setting and on a hospital unit with stage 4 cancer patients. I know how important it is for cancer patients and survivors to be able to talk about their fears with others who are perhaps a bit removed, who can witness without letting their own fears get in the way. Often, these organizations are in need of funds, as well as volunteer support. Here’s a few favorites. Hope you’ll be moved to help.


www.gildasclub.org
http://www.cancerhopenetwork.org/
www.breakawayfromcancer.org


Submitted by Cyndi